Saturday, August 7, 2010

Goodbye

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 13; the thirteenth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

"Goodbye" said the note stuck on the fridge

which he saw with his sleepy eyes, he rubbed his eyes as if that would rub away the sleep...

but there was no sleep left in them .. just like a slap bring all the sense into a drunk .. it was a slap which had woken him up after 20 years of sleep.

He had always taken her for granted .. not for today or tomorrow but almost all their life together after all they never stayed apart even for a week after the marriage...

They loved each other very much but their love developed cracks when their family refused to grow.

They were not blessed with a baby and even when she wanted to adopt a baby he had opposed her saying that he would not be able to love someone Else's baby like his own and he would try to co-operate with her in their life and in the difficult time.

But soon he forgot about his own promise and started abusing her whenever presented with a chance ..

In his own grief he forgot that how much she must be hurting.

He started drinking as well

He slumped in a sleep which lasted exactly till this moment when he saw the note..

He tried calling what few friends they had but no one knew about her or where she went...

He tried ads in paper and Police but he never got a clue about her

Slowly and slowly one year passed..

Somehow he did not give up on her ... also he wasn't at all bad to her for last 5 years. He had stopped drinking and started behaving nicely to her. Within the past year he had thought about all the moments of their life and although he understood that he was horrible to her, he could never understand why did she choose to leave him after so many years, in their 40s when their life was finally good after so many years..

then as she had left .. without a sound or trail then in the same way he received a letter from her ..

he tried to find from where the letter had come from but to know avail..

With shaking hands he started reading the letter...it said..

"Hi Love,
           Yes its true after all these years and for all your behavior, I still love you. I know you were also hurting as bad as me but being a man you could not cry like me to ease your pain so you started drinking and starting hitting me and tried to find all the wrong ways to ease your pain and vent your anger on God. But even though I was hurting inside, I knew that I had to bring you back to life before I could find a life for myself.

I don't know if you have fallen into the hands of your bad habits once again or not. I hope not.But I am very happy that when I left you, you had stopped drinking  and left all of your bad habits. You were also very good to me and you must surely be wondering by now, why did I leave you then and not when you were at your most horrible behavior?

hmmmm.. so to answer your question, I did not leave till you were all better because I still love you and if I had left you at that time, you must have surely drunk yourself to death by now. And I had to leave you after that because I had already given you all I had to offer and now I wanted some time for myself. I might come back to you after few years but that time is still away. I have to still fill the wounds and ease the pain given to me by your hatred towards me.

You will also be happy to know that I have adopted a very beautiful girl and I have named her Asha as a symbol of my Hope for you. She loves you very much and wants to meet you but she is very intelligent girl for her two years of age and knows that she will meet you when the time will come.

You must be wondering what am I doing. I am working as a caretaker in an old age home and I love it here, all the people here are hurt but still after some time they stop worrying and start enjoying their life. Here nobody is rude to anyone because everyone knows each others pain and do what ever they can to ease that pain. I love it here because people just come here everybody accepts and welcomes them and nobody says Goodbye.

Be good and stay good for when I comeback I want you to be just like I left you. I just want that day to be like I woke up after a long sleep.

Forever Yours and Only yours"






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42 comments:

  1. A touching post Vikas...This Goodbye comes with Hope eh!
    Thats good. For where theres hope theres a new beginning..:D
    Except for a few grammatical errors and the use of the past and present tense in the same para...you write and narrate very well..:)
    keep going and wish you luck..:D

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  2. I loved this goodbye! It was sad as she left him but in the end, there is a hope which leaves reader with a smile. All the best!

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  3. good narration.. just a bit of tense here n there, not a big issue..

    all the best

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  4. Thanks Leo I am aware of those mistakes, tried to correct many as well, but obviously couldn't do much better. LOL and to think that I pride myself with the fact that my grammar is very good. As you can see my pride is misplaced. at least till I correct them in the next post. Thank you very much.

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  5. Thanks Jaspreet for the positive comment. thank you very much and all the best to you too in case you also participated.

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  6. Thanks for the kind comment also one which will definitely help me to improve. That's what I call positive Criticism, Thank you very much for the same. Now about the errors I am really sorry for them as generally I am very careful about tenses and grammar but I wrote this story as I went ahead so that also means that I changed many parts later which resulted in past and present in the same para. Although I can go ahead and edit the post to correct the mistake but I think I will keep them so that others can also provide me my mistakes so that I can improve upon them. Thank you very much and also all the best to you too for BAT-13

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  7. Hey Vibhuti decided to correct as many mistakes as possible as others might not be as understanding as you and it may come in between if I become so lucky as to get few votes. Sorry and will try not to make more mistakes going forward.

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  8. Hey Vibhuti corrected what all problems I could find. If you can please go back through my post to tell me if you find anymore problems. Please.

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  9. Nice post Vikas.
    Out of the box theme for the story.
    Love it when women have a say in their life. :)
    ATB for BAT 13.

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  10. Well thanks for the nice comments. I just wish that I don't limit myself to writing all these things on paper or internet but, will try to implement them in my life as well. all the best to you too for BAT-13

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  11. A different story, well told. I like the strong female character. She did not let her love for this man destroy either him or her. I do wonder whether he accepted her and her child. All the best!

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  12. Thanks for your comment .. to answer your question, he was ready to do whatever it was to bring her back, so yes I think that he would have accepted her and asha. :)

    ATB for BAT-13

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  13. Very nicely woven, Vikas. Sometimes goodbyes are good. Though it's a tough decision, one has to make it if necessary.
    All the best!

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  14. Thank you very much karthik .. ATB for BAT-13

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  15. interesting take on the loveless-lives that walk among us. They deserve better.

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  16. Thanks Sid all the best for BAT-13

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  17. surprised to see blog after blog on this topic. and with every post i read i keep discovering some new. glad i read your post. keep writing good stuff.

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  18. Even goodbyes can have a fresh angle to them, this is more of a hello and welcome to a life begun afresh

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  19. A goodbye with positivity along the way! Not really a sad ending here!

    all the best for BAT!

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  20. Thanks Vee for wonderful comments and regular visits. ATB for BAT-13

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  21. Hey Ritu thanks .. ATB for BAT-13

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  22. were you waiting for a sad ending? :) To tell you the truth when I started writing it I was going for a SAD ending but everything changed as I went ahead. Still hope that you find it good. keep the comments coming they keep me motivated :-D. All the Best for you too for BAT-13

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  23. Its a very painful & very personal feeling when a couple is w/o babies. Personal because it can't really be shared. I loved the ending though. It touched me as we are in the same boat (we are fighting it together)......Thank you...

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  24. Hey Vitthal thanks for the comment and I am wishing that you also find your nice ending and raise a wonderful child. I know you will be wonderful parents I gotta feeling. you are welcome. All the best for BAT-13

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  25. Wow..beautifully written..Asha, ray of hope for her husband..I liked that...You ended it quite well too...No goodbyes..
    All the best for BAT!

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  26. Thanks Upasana for wonderful comment. ATB to you too for BAT.

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  27. Someone Is SpecialAugust 10, 2010 at 7:19 AM

    Well written post buddy,... Great work...

    All The Best for BAT 13.

    Gmsaravana - Goodbye

    Yours Frendly,
    Someone Is Special

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  28. cool take on the theme!

    best wishes for BAT!

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  29. Vikas
    Loved it!
    So well written..I could visulize the whole emotion and the room where converstion were made! The story had lots of strings and phases to get attached and it kept me engaged in all!


    ~Keep the Spark ALive..

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  30. Thank You very much Rachana for the wonderful comment. All The Best for BAT to you too.

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  31. Thank goodness you didn't go for a sad ending! Too much sorrow in this BAT already! All the best!

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  32. Sometimes it happens .. As everybody pointed out there's seldom Happiness in goodbyes .. thank God I found something which at least ended on positive notes. Thank you very much Keerthi. All the best for BAT.

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  33. Shahid aka Shady West SideAugust 13, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    well done vikas...it was nice change from the usual sad goodbyes...this one was more like Hope!!!

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  34. Hey Vikas, u r growing as writer each BAT.. The themes and plots u choose have matured ovr the months.. really liked ur take on this topic.. kudos :)

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  35. Thanks Marshal .. Really Encouraging hearing praise from you. All the best to you too for the BAT.

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  36. Thanks Shahid for the comment. All the best for BAT

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  37. Nice one Vikas.I see your stories are shaping up quite well.

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  38. Thanks to all you guys and your encouraging comments All the best for BAT

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